Isak and Even: Minute by minute
by chips2
Summary: Isak's POV. Isak reconnected with Even at Nissen after getting his love/suicide text and has taken him home. This story picks up the next morning when they negotiate a new future together. They talk, cuddle and more (!). Major fluff and mild smut


**Saturday 10.20**

Even looks like he is somewhere between sleep and wake.

"I should leave." He doesn't look at me when he says those words. They should feel devastating but instead they make me resolute.

Fuck that.

He is not going anywhere.

Not after what we have shared together. Not after allowing me to fall so completely for him. Not after seeing the words 'I love you' from him. Not after getting so close to losing him that I can still feel the ache of it in my soul.

No way. No chance. No how.

"Why?" I ask.

He sighs then mumbles, "Because I don't want you to lie here and feel like you have to look after me."

"I don't feel like I am looking after you." I say the words before even thinking. What I feel is closeness and love. Being with him like this, in my bed, does not feel like a burden at all.

And anyway...

"And why is that wrong?" I ask. Isn't it normal to want to care about people you love and to want to take care of them?

"There is nothing wrong with it." Even says. "I just can't stand you laying here all sad."

I have never heard him like this. His tone is slow, expressionless and monotone.

He still hasn't looked at me properly since waking up. That hurts more than his words but I don't take it personally because I have been reading up. Depression brings low mood, pessimism, and a bleak outlook of the future. That is probably why he has slept for so long. The effort of getting up is too much. Nothing seems worth it.

He cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. He cannot see that it may not always be easy but that by taking things one step at a time he can get through this and he will smile again.

And that I want to be there with him through it.

"I am not sad." I say.

As crazy as it sounds I am _happy_ because until a few days ago I thought the guy I had fallen for wasn't really in love with me and until a few hours ago he was about to take his own life to escape the storm in his head.

I am happy because he is still here and with me.

"I just know this isn't going to work out." He says.

A lump forms in my throat. "Why do you say that?"

"Because it is true." He fixes me with a look. His eyes are portals of truth. "I am just going to hurt you and then you'll hate me."

I see what he is doing. He is giving me an easy out; fast forwarding to what he sees as the inevitable end of us where he destroys what we have because of his bipolarity. Since he can't change his disease that must mean that he considers himself un-dateable and unlovable. Not worth the bother.

I am partly to blame for giving him that impression because of my callous words. But I think that he has had experiences in the past that have informed this opinion of himself.

That needs to change.

"No." I say after a pause. "You know shit about how this is going to end. I mean, a nuclear bomb could drop on our heads tomorrow and this whole conversation would have been a waste of time. I think we should stop talking about what _might_ happen in the future and instead we should just take things 'chill'."

I have got his attention. He stares at me and blinks.

"Let's play a game." I say. "It's like-, it's called 'Isak and Even: Minute by minute."

I hesitate for a second- scared he might reject my touch- then I reach out and lay a hand on his cheek and begin to stroke the hair on his temple. He doesn't pull away so I continue,

"It's about how the only thing we need to worry about is the next minute. You up for that?"

"Okay." He whispers. He looks so vulnerable and tired. I want to kiss it all better.

Yes. That's it.

"What should we do this minute then?" He asks.

"This minute we'll kiss," I say without a beat.

He smiles. It's a tiny one but still...

Ugh.

His fucking smiles will be the death of me.

"That's chill." He says.

"That's chill?" I ask and smile back.

"That's chill." He whispers in confirmation.

I lean in and kiss him.

And he kisses me back.

It's soft and comforting. His slightly chapped lips graze mine, feather light. Touching him, smelling him, tasting him again... it feels incredible. I rub my nose against his and it brings me memories of happier times and the promise of more to come. It makes Even smile again, softly.

I see the expression of peace, calm and love on his face as I pull back.

He sluggishly opens his eyes and whispers, "That wasn't a minute."

"No?"

"No." He says and pulls me in gently for another kiss. I feel his hand mirror mine in touching my cheek.

After a while he grabs the back of my head. He pulls me closer and his tongue starts a dance with mine.

I feel myself get swept up in his taste and touch until it is gone suddenly.

"That was a minute." He whispers.

I flutter my eyes open and stutter, "Y-yeah. Yes. It was."

I pull him into a tight hug and tuck my head into his chest. I can feel his heart beating steadily against my ear. How is he so calm and his breathing so even? My breath is laboured and my heart is bounding away. I still get that immediate heady rush from being near him.

I comb my hand through his hair, which is just starting to go greasy, and feel its wispy softness. His hand rushes down to the nape of my neck and then down my back while we continue to embrace. He rubs my back in slow gentle strokes while I write patterns in his hairline with my finger tips.

Eventually his gentle caress acts as a lullaby. My adrenalin rush settles. I feel my hold on Even loosen and my eyes close, weighed down by fatigue.

I feel sleep come to claim me.

My eyes spring open, however, when I feel the hem of my t-shirt being tugged.

Even starts pulling my top up.

This is unexpected. I thought we were about to get some more sleep. I thought that depression lowered sexual drive.

I give him a wry smile. "You don't want to sleep?"

He stares at me with eyes blown black with lust. He slowly shakes his head and tips my chin up with one finger in order to place a single kiss on my lips.

"You know what I read somewhere?" I whisper as I feel tingly all over. I lick to moisten my lips. "It was for some homework for biology or something about social bonding. Kissing is a form of social bonding." I stroke his arm. "It causes the release of hormones-"

"... that make you feel lust and romance and closeness." Even finishes my sentence. He smiles, "I paid attention in that class too."

He kisses the tip of my nose and drags his hand along the hemline of my top before fanning it against the bare skin of my back. I feel myself heating up as he then sneaks into the waistline of my boxers and lightly squeezes my bum.

"I didn't-, I thought with how you were feeling-," I stammer softly. "I- I- didn't think you'd be up for it."

He rubs his cheek against mine, then buries his face into the nape of my neck and inhales deeply. I feel him place a kiss where my heart beat flutters in my neck.

He mutters into it.

"What?" I whisper.

He glances at me. "It's not my fault that you are so fucking hot."

I cough a laugh as I feel my cheeks go beetroot red.

"Ok." I say giving him major doubting side-eye. "It's the endorphins, testosterone and oxytocin that make you feel that not me."

He gently nibbles and sucks at my neck. I release a moan and I briefly think about how I am going to explain the bruising at school on Monday. I can't wear scarves and hoodies 24/7.

He rolls onto his back and lets me climb on top of him to straddle his hips. My boxers and his jogging pants do nothing to hide the feeling of his hard dick against my ass.

I look down at him. He looks calm and still. His hands hold my thighs. Then as he looks me straight in the eye, he runs his palms slowly upwards. I swallow hard. I feel myself getting aroused as his hands settle just shy of my groin. The tenting of my underwear gives away my excitement.

I slightly adjust my position on him.

He drags me down for a further kiss. His arms sink under the fabric of my top once more and lift it up. I take his cue and tug my t-shirt off in a quick and seamless move before his arms envelop me into him once again. I rock against him as I feel him map my body; pull me as close to him as physically possible. He kisses the life out of me and into me.

In unison, his hands ghost over my bum and then pull down my underwear as far he can.

I moan into his mouth then pull away.

I take a breath.

I've dated a fair few girls but it was all for show. Things stopped shy of getting too intimate when whoever it was tried it on. I got very good at finding an excuse to wiggle out of doing anything too sexual. And until Even. I had never done anything with a guy.

This is, therefore, still new to me. This carnal knowledge. Even and I have an experience mismatch but he has been an eternally patient and enthusiastic teacher. The physical and erotic sensations he gives me are overwhelming. The way he possesses me is so complete. It is as if no part of me is sacred or off limits to him.

Right now I need a quick moment to 'chill' so that I don't blow too soon. I sit up on him and gently trace his clothed torso as far down as to the point where it meets my body.

I recite the substrates of the Kreb's cycle in my head. Biology will save me.

"I'm pretty sure that kiss was longer than a minute." Even whispers.

I take a shaky breath and nod.

He tugs at the waistband of my underwear. "So what do we do with the next minute?"

Fuck the Kreb's cycle.

I get off him slowly and take my boxers off.

I lean down to lay the softest kiss on his lips and whisper, "In this minute we'll fuck."

He lays me on my back and climbs on top of me. He pushes my legs apart gently and settles his body between them before giving me a kiss in return. "That'll take more than just a minute, Isak."

I hear my phone beep indicating an incoming message and ignore it.

I lean up and kiss Even's cheek. I wrap my legs around his waist and hook my arms over his shoulders.

I whisper,

"Yeah. Ok. That's chill."

+:+:+:+:+:+:+

 **Saturday 15.15**

I wake up feeling like I have slept for a year even though it has just been a few hours.

Even is sleeping behind me and has an arm firmly wrapped around me in his sleep.

My mind goes back to this morning when we talked about us and taking things one minute at a time. I remember how we kissed and hugged until I felt myself starting to dose off. And then Even woke me up and we...

I feel a little hot under the collar and pull the duvet covering me back slightly.

I am still clothed in the t-shirt and boxers I was wearing earlier. I nestle back into Even and discover that he is dressed too. He must be wearing the top and jogging pants I gave him last night.

So nothing happened. It was a just a very vivid sex dream. I blush as I remember the details; an amalgamation of past memories and lustful thoughts.

Oh well.

I slowly pull his arm away so that I can lean over to the bedside table to pick up my phone.

I check my messages in case my parents have tried getting a hold of me after I ran out of church yesterday.

There is a message from dad asking me to call him back. I also have a text from Jonas asking me why I didn't come to the Bakka party.

And finally I have ... TWELVE texts from Eskild.

 _Eskild: Are you in there?_

 _Eskild: Not as a metaphor. I am actually wondering if you're in your room_

 _Eskild: Is even there TOO? I know he's there #iamguru_

 _Eskild: Is everything alright?_

 _Eskild: HALLO_

 _Eskild: isak, did you guys make up?_

 _Eskild: Answer me_

 _Eskild: Answer me_

 _Eskild: Answer me_

 _Eskild: Answer me_

 _Eskild: Answer me_

 _Eskild: #isakneedstoanswer_

Bloody babysitter.

So nosy.

Anyway ...

I look back over at Even. He is still fast asleep. I resist the urge to wake him up just yet but at some point I'll need to. He needs to eat, take a shower, talk and try to get better.

I reach away from him again in order to put my phone back down on the side table but I feel Even's arm wrap itself around me.

He whispers, "Don't go, baby."

I am about to reply to him when I realise that he has spoken in his sleep.

I turn to him and kiss his cheek.

"I'm not going anywhere." I whisper.

Then I type a reply to Eskild as a smile appears on my face.

 _Isak: Chill guru_

 _Isak: Everything is ok_

I put my phone down and settle back into bed with Even.


End file.
